How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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