On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
