Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
