dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
