I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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