Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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