but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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