no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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