I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
