sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
