I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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