I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
