we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
