I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
