I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
