Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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