i don't like sucking hair
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
