So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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