my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
