I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
