That's intense
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
