which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
either way he was missing a nipple.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
