their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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