You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
