i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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