i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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