i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you traded sex for a burrito?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
