real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I need to align my fucking chakras
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
