He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
