At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
