Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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