Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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