you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
