She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
