Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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