In the future we'll all be gay
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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