Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize