The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
