I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize