that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
