I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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