this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
