oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
