Betty ford says i'm here all night
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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