no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
