hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
