Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
