i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
