okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
