your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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