We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
