what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
