U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
