this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
