can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
