Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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