I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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