I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
