He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
